


Listen to what I cannot say.

by Henna_Sully



Category: Loki - Fandom, Marvel, Marvel Loki
Genre: Cute, D'OH, F/M, Fanfic, Fluffy, I'M NEW TO TAGS, LETTERS BETWEEN LOKI AND A WITCH, LOKI IS GETTING EMOTIONAL, LOKI LOVE LETTER, Light Angst, Loki - Freeform, Marvel Loki - Freeform, OOC, OOC LETTER TO LOKI, One Shot, SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN CAPITALS PROBABLY, Salem Witch, Short, Short One Shot, TIED IN WITH TUMBLR BLOG, ehehehe, extremely mild smut towards the end, kissing and cannoodling, not sure why I mention it, seriously it's all above the waist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 09:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17526491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Henna_Sully/pseuds/Henna_Sully
Summary: Letters between Loki and Hester (OOC, Salem witch). They have grown so close, spent nights together, but cannot talk about how they feel. She knows that he is afraid/unable to talk about feelings and fears he might just shut them down altogether. SO she writes to him instead. He writes back and the letters go back and forth and the arguments for and against build up to..... an  extremely mild little bit of smuttiness. Just a tad, ok? Don't be put off. Or... disappointed. Eheh.ABOUT 1300 words long





	Listen to what I cannot say.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote some of this on my OOC's tumblr account, part of an RP between these two characters that I'll be changing into a fanfic some time (with the other RPer's permission!).  
> CHARACTER: Hester is a witch who was to be executed in Salem but she was rescued mid execution. The RP story follows her seeking out Loki because she thinks he has something to do with it, not finding him til the 21st century.  
> I hope you enjoy it I love writing about these two. If you do like it, please let me know; tick Kudos?Or a comment? - as I'm new around here and don't know really if I fit in :(

=================================================================================

Hester, dear one,

A god does not admit to fear but once or twice a millenia, but I gift you with my confession: I am afraid.  
You have reached what so many refuse to believe I have or care enough to enquire about; my heart. But, little one, that heart has long been like a black hole, into which all the hurts of centuries are sucked and held. Any fear of yet more is not what raises my fences to keep you out. No. I am afraid that you will be sucked down with me.

You say you will stand back, but I will feel your love from wherever you are and when it stops, I'll know you have passed into another part of Yggdrasil. And though we wont have been in each other's arms for so long, the knowledge that it is no longer possible might break me. You see, if I am broken in your arms you'll catch me, but if they are not there, I'll fall. So it's your death I fear, my love, and it will come so much sooner than mine. I thought you understood this. Maybe you do not know me as much as your own heart tells you.

It would be wiser to not know me.

Loki

==========================================

 

Loki,

If I had a spell to give me thousands of years to live, but without ever knowing you, I wouldn't cast that spell. I would rather live a tiny, mortal lifetime, and have spent just a few hours of it making love with you. Now I see how selfish this is. But you are a healer! So how could this happen? And yes, like you, I fear my lover's death, and the emptiness that your passing would bring. Surely though, the pain then, is part of the joy now.  
But if that's what you fear, then, to save your heart from my own demise, I CAN take a step back, if that is what you command. But before you 'give the order', first, be still, and feel the gentleness of my eyes on your soul and hear the words that my heart DOES know:

You cannot trust anyone? Then I shall not ask you to. You fear to love? Then I won't chase it. You want me gone? Then it can be *as though* I'm gone, but I will never abandon you;

I won't pull at your heartstrings or make you question why I'm here. You'll scarcely know I'm here.

I will be like the stars that hide behind the night mist.

Like the branches of a tree that stroke your window as you sleep.

I'll be the draught that cools your flesh as you step from the shower and then the steam that pours from you as you dry.

I will be the ghost face on the mirror in the night; the wonder that you feel watching starlings sway in flight.

I will be like the wind in the trees, the ever present, unacknowedged breeze that blows your hair and makes you touch your face, your beautiful face.

I will be present for you like all these things; I won't invade your space.

I will be restful in your life like a pet asleep in the corner of a large room; forgotten but for a warmth in the atmosphere. I will never worry you I will never bother you. You do not have to trust me because I'll have no plans for us anyway.

Be still, my prince. Feel only gentleness from me, as you feel with all these things.

I will stand unacknowledged and alone, my heart warmed from having secretly touched your day. 

You needn't fear my Lord, And if that is hard to grasp, then take it from my ever opened hand instead.

Your 'little witch',

Hester.

==========================================================================================

Hester,

How can I believe you? You speak more kindly than I have heard in so many years yet I feel the fences between us growing back into trees, into forests!  
I cannot imagine or promise that I will take your words inside me, but I will keep them, and wear them like your hands about my neck, resting on my heart. There, only you will have opportunity to break it and if those hands do start to squeeze, know this, my love; that I will sling them off and leave them to the wolves to eat.

You will be hurt if you pursue this. You will hurt. I do NOT command but only say, that for the sake of a mercy I very rarely give, consider the truth bravely and honestly: You will be hurt. You WILL be hurt, if you are determined to pursue this.

Little one, I would rather save you that.

Loki

=========================================================================================

My Prince,

Credit me then, and test, that I have the bravery and honesty that you ask for. If I did not know the risks of loving you, I would not offer to stand back. Even though more logically, I should only stay away if I did NOT have these feelings for you! But love isn't logical. It's magical. We both know magic. This is just a little more of it. Because I love you, teach me how to love you.  
The biggest risk I take, and take with all my heart, is if you pass before I do and I am at that risk with anyone in life. Stop this dithering. You are meant to live long, but what if you don't? It won't be just my own pain if that happens. -How will it be if you look back on your life and regret not taking this chance? Your life will flash before your eyes. Save one more self denial from that show.

Hester

(-I shouldn't berate a god, so forgive me!)

==========================================================================================

Oh Hester,

When I die, there will be no flashing of my life before my eyes. Instead, it will pause, like a dog running over a field of corn and stopping, waiting, looking over its shoulder to see if its master is following. There my life, my soul will run from me, but not all the way. "Are you ready?" it will ask, "Are you done?" And I will be suspended between the pain and the sun.

I will look around and watch, and wait, and see if I can feel with my already fading fingers any way to stay behind. I will listen and yearn and stretch my ears to hear, to eavesdrop, to reach out for my name being spoken anywhere. Am I still needed? Am I still wanted? Remembered?

I will ask my life, "Do you love what you contain?" And if it shakes its head I'll ask, "Can anything be changed?"

And then, if I have died before you, I'll squint my eyes and raise a hand up to my brow -and look for you. Are you able to succeed? To smile, to love, to grow, to be? Without me? If you call to me I will return, my dear one.

When I die, there will be no flashing of my life before my eyes, for now, already, I have died at least a dozen times inside. Don't let the dog escape its master, if you can call it back. Let not my soul depart unless some love you lack.

-If my death is all you fear, then don't. Come, come into my arms and we'll see what we can make of this.

-Loki  
============================================================================================

My dearest Lord, my Loki.

You have made my heart feel like bubbles in my chest! Ha! I want you to burst them with the stroke of your warm hands there. Kiss me there whilst my back arches and pushes my breasts further into your welcome. Wrap your arms around my waist while I hold your head in place. Let me smell the forest scents that always haunt your hair, let my tongue seek down to yours and then, with eyes still squeezed shut, make our robes melt with your seidr and carry me to your room. Lay me down and let me be joined to you again. For I crave you. I crave for you.

I adore you  
Hester  
===========================================================================================

Well then, silly little one. What are you waiting for? -your Prince is ready x

==============================================================================================


End file.
